IF I BREAK THIS PROMISE YOU CAN SLAP ME

Okay I'm being way too negative, losing sight of the purpose of study abroad, and disappointing myself because of my own expectations and thoughts. I am writing out my promise here so as to "set it in stone."

Tomorrow I will:

1. Not complain at all. If I feel like I have something to complain about, I will not text or talk to anyone about it. I will try to flip it and see the situation in a more positive way.

2. Get shit done. I will turn my phone off when I do homework and I will just sit down and do it instead of semi-focusing and turning a 2-hour assignment into a 6-hour assignment.

3. Do things I've been putting off. I will email a past coach that I've been meaning to email, have conversations that I've been avoiding, and whatever else I remember that I need to do.

I've realized that I've been making mountains out of mole hills (as Sue frequently likes to say). I think this is due to the fact that I am letting a few frustrating details become the perception of my entire experience here. I am also not taking things day by day. I'm imagining all the things I'll have to do, while not realizing that I may only have to do 1 or 2 tasks per day and will eventually get it all done. Pretty sure everyone can relate to that feeling.

I've also been foolish in thinking that everyone else's experience is perfect. There are kids here that have already switched families, kids that hate their classes, several kids on the program whose phones were stolen... I don't have it that bad.

I also sometimes imagine that I would prefer to be at Davidson but who am I kidding? Homework never ends in that (occasionally) miserable hell hole. And so many people from Davidson have told me that they miss me, and my teammates have said that a lot of people talk about how I'm gone. It makes me feel really happy that I'm viewed as an integral part of the team... and that the freshmen know that I'm a freaking legend. Hahaha just kidding. It's not like everyone at Davidson is happy all the time, partying and forgetting about my existence... (well maybe 8 drinks in on a Saturday night they are).

Ultimately, the fact that my experience hasn't been perfect and hasn't been what I expected is not the end of the world. Do things ever really go as you expect? If things always went as we expected, there would be no point in trying new things. The joy and the benefits of challenging yourself and trying new things come from all that you learn that you weren't expecting to learn. I can't overlook all the things I've discovered so far and how much this experience has made me appreciate my life in America.

I'll let you know by tomorrow night how my day of positivity and productivity went. You might not care much, but I'm writing this down so that the lazy pessimist that I am is committed to being a more proactive optimist... at least for tomorrow. Buenas noches.